A Thousand Times Goodbye
by LilaacStars
Summary: No one knows when it began, or how it began, the only thing sure is that it always begins... It always begins and it never ends...


**Just One Yesterday**

No one knows when it began, no one knows how it began, the only thing that they are sure is that it always begins and that it never ends.

This time, it begins in a decade where dreams bloomed in a garden made of concrete…

He opens his eyes and looks at a big old chandelier hanging from the roof.

Loud music is playing from a band at the club, a pretty lady sings and her feminine voice hypnotizes the room. People are dancing, dressed in gold like the end of the world was going to hit at the end of the night.

People talk and laugh, the atmosphere is bubbly like the champagne on the glasses they keep refilling and as light, as the smoke of the cigarettes, they keep lighting up.

 _Something is not right._

It is too good to be true, he knows it too well, there's something inside him telling that he should run away. Is it the past memories of war that make him doubt of the happiness that surrounds him or is something else that he can't quite catch yet?

He doesn't know, and he wishes he did. But at the same time he wishes those thoughts could be erased; lose himself in the bottles of liquor in front of him, take a beautiful lady and dance with her till the sun rises again.

 _You shouldn't be here_ , the voice says again. _Go look for something else._

But what is something else?

 _Something is missing, go look for it!_

Liquor bottles pop open. The band changes their sound, more melodic and upbeat that the melancholic tunes before and more people run to dance with a new partner holding their hands.

He sighs.

Is still too early to go back home and the hands of the clock at his right don't seem to be taking a walk in the park at a slow pace on warm summer night. He needs them to run, but his mind is not powerful enough to hurry up time.

 _Time can't run, but you can._

The thought crossed his mind, only for a second but it was enough for something inside of him to spark. A rebellious feeling ignited his heart, a sensation that he had never felt this loud.

He looks to his left, he looks to his right. He looks everywhere to see if they are around.

She is busy seducing a business man and he is screaming at an employee who looks too nervous to say something back. They are not paying attention, this is the moment; he needs to go now.

He waited no longer. He took his jacket from the velvet chair and ran through the dance floor, managing to make his way out without getting hit or hitting someone.

The change of temperature hits him hard once he stepped out of the club and finds himself outside, in a cold New York night. A soft drizzle was falling from the grey clouds that hid the dark-starred sky.

He closes his eyes, feeling the teardrops kiss his skin and make his way down, down, down. From his hair to his forehead, from his forehead to his eyes, from his eyes to his lips and then fall, fall to whenever they decided to end up.

He knows that he shouldn't stay there, at some minute his friends are going to notice his absence and are going to come up looking for him. They are going to take him back inside to the place he didn't want to be but was too afraid to say why. Because they would understand him if he gave a rational reason, but that's the problem he didn't have one, it was only a feeling, something in his gut.

He knows he shouldn't stay there but his mind is blank. There's no voice to guide him, so what is he supposed to do now?

Without warning, the rain pours more intensely. He doesn't care, he likes the rain, rain is great, but he knows that if he ends up sick things tomorrow were going to be anything but great.

He takes a big breath and contemplates the street in front of him before he leaves. He captures the images occurring in front of his eyes. He captures the people running to find shelter from the rain. He captures the city lights sparkling thanks to the water, and he captures the splashing water on the streets and the cars passing by at light speed.

With nowhere else to go at those hours of the night, he decides to go back to his apartment. He turns left and walks at a slow pace; he uses his jacket to cover his body from the harsh rain. He shouldn't be walking, he should catch a cab. Maybe that's why he doesn't do it because he should, but he is tired of doing what he should instead of what he wants to do.

So he enjoys his walk, he looks around the city and inspects every detail his curious eyes catch. He is mesmerized by the lights and the architecture of a brand new town, it

is so different from what he used to watch. He is focused on the buildings, the neon signs and the bricks that build the town. He is focusing on everything he shouldn't have.

That's why when three men pass by his side he doesn't turn around. He doesn't care and he doesn't wonder why they are running so fast. That's until the sound of heels hitting the ground at a fast rate ring in his ears, accompanied by desperate shouts.

He whirls on his heels to see what she is trying to catch. He sees the men then his sight goes back to the girl, she is running in his direction, no, in their direction.

He doesn't know why he starts to run too. He doesn't understand the situation but he is smart to know that those men must be stopped.

He runs so fast, catching them is the only thing on his mind. And the girl runs by his side, she is almost as fast as he is, only a few steps behind because she is wearing high heels while he is shoes are flat.

He has never done anything like this before, so it all happens in front of his eyes in a blur. One moment he is running, at the other he has stopped and now he is holding a purse in his left hand and his stomach hurts.

"Thank you" The voice behind his back makes him turn around immediately.

It was sweet, peaceful… _familiar._

At the first glance he had given at her, before running to catch the criminals, he had only noticed her dark hair, styled in a bob just like any other girl in the city, and the big red gabardine cape she was wearing. But now that he paid attention to her, he could see so much more, and he was so glad of having the time to see her in detail.

She is beautiful; there wasn't any another word to describe her, or maybe he should create one to be able to describe her right.

It was a good thing the stars weren't visible today because they would feel ashamed of not being able to shine as bright at the blue eyes he was looking at. Or maybe they weren't hanging on the night because they have moved to her glowing skin.

Her lips were painted in dark carmine, and he wondered what color they were under that red, thought in that moment it didn't really matter because she looked stunning in that color.

 _And she looks stunning in any color._

The voice came back, and that wasn't the last thing it said, but it was the last thing he understood because the voice wasn't alone anymore. Different places of his mind started to scream all together, making impossible to figure out what they were trying to say to him.

One thing was clear, it was all about her.

How did he know it? Because the fire inside of him had light up again, but this time her presence had turned the little bonfire into a forest fire. Instead of the destruction, real flames would cause to real trees, something inside him was starting to grow, a little seed that would bloom into something beautiful.

He didn't know how he knew it, but he did. Because she was there, and she was someone special, someone, he had been waiting for all his life and he hadn't known he had until that moment. Until she was in front of him, gifting him a smile.

"It was no trouble, my lady" He gave a little reverence, ignoring the sting of pain on his stomach.

She giggled, and it was like listening to the beginning of his favorite song all over again.

"How can I show you how grateful I am?" She asks. He knows her words don't hide another meaning, he knows she really wants to thank him, he knows it well. He doesn't know why he knows it, but he does.

" _Cash or check?"_ He feels his cheeks burning. He doesn't know why he asked that. It is nothing like him to say such things, but there is something about her that makes him feel that it is okay to say it, there's something telling him that she loves it.

A little smirk is drawn on her carmine lips, but she doesn't answer. She doesn't look offended, and he is grateful for that because that had been reckless. He wasn't used to reckless… it felt good.

" _Check_ " She answers. She still looks amused, but her cheeks are staining in the same red color that her lips.

He is nervous but, oh, so happy, so he laughs, he doesn't contain, he doesn't try to hide it, he just laughs.

She joins him and they both laugh together, only stopping when his stomach stings again and he looks down.

The two of them gasp, she more loudly than him.

"You are hurt," She says. She steps closer and touches the swift ragged line on his vest, damped with blood.

"It is nothing" It only stings, he barely feels it, it is just uncomfortable. That's what he wants to say, but she speaks before he can open his mouth.

"Let me help you" She begs. When he looks down he finds her face close to his. He realized how close they had been standing, because it hadn't been uncomfortable, it had been relaxing; it had made him feel at ease. It had felt right.

He accepts her help and before she can name a place to go he is asking her to accompany him to his apartment. Is an eager move, and he doesn't realize he shouldn't have done that until he finishes the sentence, but he doesn't get time to worry about it because she accepts without hesitation.

That's how they end up in his apartment. Him sitting on the green velvet couch he has in the middle of the living room, while she rummaged on his bathroom looking for bandages.

When she comes back to the room, the tension grows. It is not the kind of tension you feel when someone you don't like or someone you have problems is around, it is different but he can't place his finger on the why.

She sits down next to him, really close but not close enough. In her hands, she holds a crystal bottle filled with liquor, and a messy roll of bandages.

"I can't help you if you keep the vest and the shirt," She said pointing out at his clothes.

For what could be the fifth time in that night, his cheeks felt warm.

"Don't tell me you are a bluenose?" She asks with a mischievous smile on her face.

"I'm not," He says.

Still flustered he starts to unbutton his clothes. He did it fast, trying not to think of the beautiful woman in front of him.

When his clothes hit the floor and he looked back at her, she looked as flustered as him, which didn't help at all.

"You are not bleeding anymore" She whispers. She doesn't look at his eyes, her sight is fixed on the cut on his abs.

She opens the bottle of liquor and pours a jet on a bandage before cleaning the dry blood around the cut.

She doesn't take long at cleaning and starts bandaging immediately.

At first, he is stiff and a little bit jumpy, but as time passes and the more she touches him, he starts to relax, feeling more at ease with her presence. He feels so comfortable with her touch and her closeness. Every nerve of his body is aware of her, but instead of being mortified and shaking, he just feels at peace, as she was meant to be there.

 _She is_. The voice echoes once again.

He doesn't know why, but for the first time he doesn't demand an explanation, it doesn't matter if he never gets to know. No questions, no doubts, she was meant to be there and that was all that mattered.

"It's done" She announces. Her fingertips tour around the bandages, swirling and creating patterns on his skin.

"Thank you so much, my lady" He takes one of her hands in his, bringing it to his lips so he can press them and kiss her.

She giggles in response and leans closer, to rest her head against his shoulder.

The way they feel it is not new, it is a feeling they have felt before they just can't place where. It seems to be far, far away from them but of something they are sure, this feeling is only brought by the person they are looking at right now.

"We have met before?" They ask at the unison and they blush.

She hides her face on the curve of his neck. He can feel her laughing, which makes him smile brighter.

" _I'm Adrien_ " He says.

 _"_ _Marinette"_ She looks at him again. There's something hidden in her eyes that he has seen before, something he has unrevealed and get well acquainted with.

Gravity is not as strong as the force that makes their faces get closer. Nose bumping into each other and breathes crashing together.

" _Cash or check?"_ He asks once again, to be sure before making his next move.

" _Cash_ " She says breathlessly.

His open lips take her lower in a soft yet passionate move. They don't stumble, they don't mess up. They have done this before, and it is just as wonderful as all those time before.

She is sweet as vanilla and refreshing as mint. She tastes like freedom and love, she tastes like his biggest dreams fulfilled.

He is warm as a summer day and passionate only as forbidden love can be. He tastes like hope and love, he tastes like her craziest hopes had come true.

And then it clicks, a candle lights up and the darkness is gone.

They keep kissing, they don't say a word but they know what the other is thinking.

 _It's you, I found you! It's you, it's you! You were what was missing!_

 _It's me It's me! You found me!_

 _It's us! We are together again, my love!_

The kiss ends with them still lingering for the other. They open their eyes and stare at each other for what could be an eternity to outsiders' eyes but for them it has only been a second of their time.

She starts to talk; she tells him everything she has done in her life. She tells him her good and her bad, she tells him about other guys, about work and her hopes.

He explains his life to her, how hard it can be but how good it also is. He makes jokes of his sad stories, trying to not worry her too much. He tells her about his boring job and asks what she thinks of her odd choices in life.

They laugh, they cry, they tell each other how much they had been missing the other in their lives. They kiss and kiss until air is required, and even in those moments, they are reluctant to let the other go.

When the clocks hit three a.m. they know it's time to stop, they don't want to but there's nothing they can do.

He hugs her tight, too afraid to let her go. She gives the hug back and kisses his jaw before closing her eyes.

"I love you," He says. He imitates her and closes his eyes, not without watching her beautiful face one more time, trying to engrave his features on his mind.

"I love you, too" She whispers, sadness drenching her words "I'll find you"

"Not if I find you first" He giggles, but the sadness also takes over him.

They fall sleep together, tears falling from their closed eyes.

It is always like this, it always begins but it never ends…

He opens his eyes and sees a dark grey clouded sky on top of him.

Bombs were falling and loudly exploding somewhere near. The streets are full people running scared, trying to find shelter or come back home as fast as they can.

Something is not right. Something is missing.

The voice inside his head spoke again, but he had no idea what it was talking about.

 **xx**

 **"Cash: Kiss. Check: kiss me later**

 **Cash or check?: kiss you now or later?"**  
 **"Bluenose: A prude"**  
 **Here's what I came up with trying to write something different, I may continue this but right now is not my focus :)**

 **find me on tumblr: .com**


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